A painfully honest HOROSCOPE: Crabs are melodrama and egoism in the package, woe to you if you’re fighting with twins

This horoscope you will read below is quite different from normal. Horoscope below will reveal those “dark” and perverse side of your character.

Aries
Radodajka and bad leaders. Just think, all those dictators who are not lions rams. Do not let them in high office, at work where someone might endanger life or in the crib. Bahati were disheveled, fiery and impulsive. They are proud of what you will say whatever they think, and what are you going after the depressed / get neurovegetative dystonia, it is no longer their problem. Seduce all of them, changing partners as wipes, prone to adventures. At work otaljaju mainly because the school students were so good that they are sick – they proved that they have and do not need to do anything.

God forbid: Do you ask them what they think about you. Your child has always been uglier than one child aunt across the street. You had shorter legs than other companions, even if you were Mis Malina ’92. Satisfy the krezavom grandmother, because you have never been sexy guy. You may be able to achieve something in life, you better dress. You’re smart, no matter what you are not beautiful and so on …

Taurus
Manipulator and a compulsive eater. Present themselves as a god and a beating when they should be praised in a wide range of people. Women bulls are prone to hysteria, domination, attacks on everything from births, to the broad masses. Justification them is usually what they breastfeed or they know how to cook well. Men bulls from home to make a barracks represent the household as his subordinates and will quickly forget the charm and tranquility with which people typically access. At best, you will feel like a shepherd beside them. At worst, you will feel like a gladiator and strepićete for your health and life.

You will eat everything you have in the fridge, even if you have prepared yourself – are insatiable.

God forbid: Living in a house with two bull preferably spouses. All my life you will observe how they confront each other about anything and apply their own manipulation of the cross. If you are a child of the two bulls, there is an excellent chance that you will have lifelong problems.

twin
Flapper and / or delinquent in the attempt. On Friday will tell you one thing, another on Saturday. The stick is the fact that it does not illuminate anyone older than 7 years old proofs in all possible ways peculiar to teenagers. If necessary, izbušiće such diverse places on the body 50, a tattoo with 60. They do not like to work, unless they are in the spotlight and if you do not get applause for everything it late. It is possible that they will try to steal something to jump on stage and kiss the singer. Hard to find a permanent job, because it is impossible to cram so open-minded (read: immature) a person in an office there and give her some papers to be stamped, signed and printed. They tend to short-term obsessions, which will smother the snake like a frog.

God forbid: Do we fight. Are too calm, strife not seen as a serious criticism, but because of its hippie-conceptions think you’re very interesting. Never had anything to prove you, I will not listen to anyone, will never do anything that you submitted to them and will continue to force your way.

Cancer
Melodrama & amp; egoism in the package. They warn you to your vulnerable soul, only to be listened to whine about everything that they are not doing s difficult to give them anything goes – and make you what you are not. They do not have much imagination or sense of beauty. His voracity hide behind the argument that they should only love. They love to be loved, or 24 hours a day, as if looking for a geisha or a eunuch to constantly go after them. Fishing on spirituality and literature, but their education in given areas is in most cases only the parade, as well as emotions. I do not understand in popular culture, because it is constantly changing, as opposed to history and geography that change only by wars and natural disasters. You will learn everything, will not remember a damn thing. Even after 10 years you will not know a third of the things associated with them.

God forbid: Do you kuvaju.Većina crabs have no idea about food and it is almost certain that it will prepare a concoction. Pancakes “infanticides”. “Abortion-asparagus”. Potatoes “in-the-hell-gonna-go.” Fish “that-you-hurt-my tummy.” All these dishes will stay long in the memory, and you may have a severe trauma of the individual components of dishes.

Lion
Politicians. Just think, all those who are not dictators rams were lions. They are able to cause pogroms of various types – from the storm on his own birthday, but to the mass exodus. Most people view as a youth camp where everything should be nice to explain, and then invite them to cakes. The ideal teachers, poor students. Top speakers, poor listeners. Vade are that will save the planet, because Harry Potter lion, and really just want to be able to enjoy being able to conquer the whole world, and then a giant work action, which will employ sacrificial fish, and workaholics device and scales. Lazy to form political parties, in most cases will be filtered into another and clear the way to the top. Lazy to be stars of the show, will pump up as extras and soon to be on the scene. In skiing, of course, prices slalom and giant slalom.

God forbid: Do you disagree with njima.Ovo is particularly big problem in relations with the less intelligent lions – if they say that the sky is yellow, and you is not blue, will convince you that you are too young and green, too old and senile … usually, you do not have a clue. For the connection of interest will tell you that they caused great passion and true emotions. Not fat, just completed, and you would not be able to lose weight. Or to gain weight, no matter what they think they should.

Virgo
Married to the job. Workaholic. Cepidlaka. A perfectionist. First love was their brownie in kindergarten, first kiss was in the competition for the best essay on a politician or historical figures. After termination of their education, enter into eternal marriage to work. Love is guaranteed to the grave. Other things difficult to interest them. Not a classic careerists like a fire sign, just as obsessed with work. A large number of virgins was seen at work actions in Tito’s time, although the story is that some walled up in the foundations of buildings, bridges and concrete pillars lining the riverbed smaller rivers. Make plans, lists, lists, tables; own agendas, address books, telephone directories, planners and tasks on the to-do application on the net.

God forbid: To go crazy, so you have to take care of njima.Dobar percentage of virgins, in accordance with his name, someday … just burst. Then each goes his own way: some spawn of seven children, including two sets of twins, and experience a nervous breakdown. Some take on forty jobs and become obsessed with their clients, superiors and, if rades them known. As a precaution, tell them to slow down, whatever you do.

Libra
The bad guys in the skin of Mother Teresa. Saved the whole world, embracing all the abandoned children to their breasts to feed all the hungry in Africa and built houses in Japan while receiving radiation all to yourself. Classical victims, mostly without the ability to resist. The groups are powerful and sardonic as lonely as the Shakespeare actors and personalities from the Dickens novel – soft and dark. They are able to do more than all the others together, but hardly anything ever make for your own good. Stronger balance reaches zen when you get rid of all these constraints, but it will be very easy to become addicted to them, and you will not be able to decide anything without them, as if the mind is completely vaporized. Thanks to this and received the status of the greatest seducer in the chart, which is not worth much, Jerba are not religious.

God forbid: To vežete.Kakva whatever that relationship was, it will look as if you are married. All day you refer to what they do, where they were, what they had for lunch, and so on. If you go on a weekend in the country, you’ll know. If you go to lunch at Grandma’s, you’ll know. And then what happens? Write a book about them and they convince you that you are voyeurs, and then catch them with your cousin, parent, best friend and the story starts again.

Scorpio
Bomb ready to explode. I disagree with your disagreement with them. Will not. They do not care. I do not want to, because they know better, know more and have no right to attack them. Heavy resentful. They remember the day you tore their favorite book, and will be happy to knock on the exam and tell you not to work in their companies. If they shoot sea, the first time you see them in life; We’ll create a scandal and both of you will be arrested, rebuked or in a corner, depending on age. In contrast to the shooters, openly threaten and curse them quite imaginative. They have a list of people who think they’re jerks, and a very easy hit list. They are proud of your character will mention it, tattoo, engraved, whatever.

God forbid: You play with them a social igru.Varaju on maps, cheat at Monopoly cheat even in “Dude, do not be angry!”. Will bring you to tears, rage, tearing tickets, throwing out the window the chessboard. Will convince you that doing nothing by the book, but when you show them the rules, explain that you are thinking of their rules, not that awkward piece of paper that you’re talking about, it probably needs to swallow.

Sagittarius
The ambitious outsider. Superficial, sloppy and careless. I do not like to work, but the price of success. He does not like to deal with what his Church teaches, but will stick like God unconditionally, because someone has to justify his mistakes. Says one thing, doing another, and all the while thinking something else. It is capable of suddenly decides to change his whole life, and in such a situation deletes all the previous job, your image, interests, friends, and spouses if necessary. Always longs for something missing, something for which – according to his own testimony – once was. Mesa beliefs as ingredients for čorbuljak, as it seems and philosophies. In short: do not know what he’s doing, and doing this.

God forbid: To work zajedno.Skakaće over your back to get to the boss. If, however, the head of each verse is strange feathers, leech all the credit, leaver you passive aggressive messages; and when you give him this note, will convince you that he just forgot to mention that behind his masterpieces stands the whole troop of people. And then everything will start all over again, until you can not ski and fight with him, run away crying … or both.

Capricorn
The authoritarian ruler of the shadows. Ignore all with what they disagree. Do not deviate from the pre-planned norms and rules. They are stubborn to the extent that members of the other eleven signs can not understand. I can not accept defeat and will be returning in the game as long as their heart beats just a little bit, even if it meant a return to the basketball court with a cane for the blind. I do not forgive. Preach. They envy other people’s partners, borrowed a car, someone else’s success and … in short, someone else is sweeter, but in someone else’s tatka increase duck. Children driluju to the metal, it is easily frustrated crouching somewhere wunderkind who has raised a pair of crazed ruminants.

God forbid: Do you suparnici.Učiniće all that you consume. Unlike Aquarius, that just do not see other people; and rams, the shooter and the lions who like to win, goat likes to humiliate. If you are racing on the highway, I’ll push you in. If you take an exam together, podmetnuće you throw a leg or index. If they steal a potential partner, Recorder you in bed, if necessary, through the keyhole.

Aquarius
They, and then the rest of the world. Robots. Egoists to abnormal borders. The true haters. Prone to sexual perversions, combinations, variations and schemes. In their blood to all the other people regarded as charlatans, fools and outsiders, because only they view the world as it should. The proverbial greasy blankets – if they were not good, we should be good not to you, because their identity in front of your feelings. You would not recognize the mode, even when they would hit him on the head, pronounced the orbital eccentricity. I do not know how to criticize, because it hurts the lower back for all you other people. Politi water and cause a short circuit, and reprogrammed. Or change your date of birth, because they believe only other Aquarius – this is the clan, sect, people.

God forbid: Do you tell them something lepo.Znate, only they have the right to price themselves, in their sealed currents of thought can not enter a foreign object, a person or an illegal immigrant from Laos knitting basket. In fact, they were all in the range mentioned knitting basket, possibly in the range of those who sell old cardboard boxes at flea markets.

fish
Drug addicts, drug or not. They’re not real haters, just right, or are able to provide you the eyes are removed. They love the audience, their life is drama. Prone to narcotics, though drugged by nature. If you do not have money for drugs, drinks, Pusic, the prežderavaće. No chance to settle before the forties, when you finally get to the money. Then spawn a bunch of children, left without money and it all starts again. Mouth shut. They make you admire their talents and Smara your admiration of your talents. Everything smells like bubblegum their romance, and you know that it was the fashion of the fifties of the twentieth century. If they are believers, there are great chances that they will recruit a sect, which will take over the business themselves.

God forbid: To hear their ispovesti.Neće you be good at it, maybe even several days. Contradictory are considered to be much better than the entire world’s population, do not close your mouth, plačičipkice. Also many repetitive. Also many repetitive. Also many repetitive. Oh, and many are repeated.